The Orlando Magic revealed today that they have expanded their list of GM candidates. Citing a need to "think outside the box," and consider "alternative competitive strategies," the Magic have indicated a strong willingess to consider non-traditional candidates for their front office positions. So, in addition to applicants from the Oklahoma City Thunder, the San Antonio Spurs, and that Walrus guy, Alex Martins has made plans to interview: the fan-shop manager for the Golden State Warriors, a guy who used to work in the ticket office for the Cincinnati Royals, a college student who blogs about the Magic, and the general manager of a Shakey's Pizza in American Fork, UT.
Golden State Warriors fan-shop manager Beatrice Jones said she wasn't suprised that the Magic expressed an interest in her for their position. "Nearly everyone here in Oakland has been offered a job in Orlando at some point," she said, "so I figured it was only a matter of time." Jones gained acclaim in 2010 when her clever signage was cited as one of the main reasons that the fan-shop was able to move so many Acie Law jerseys at a discount rate of only 80%. While she has not spent any time in a position directly related to basketball, she believes she could be of great service to the Magic in solving some of their cap problems: "I mean, we hardly ever have anybody getting overtime here in the shop. It's all just good scheduling. Well, scheduling and a lack of customers."
Tthe Cincinnati Royals have been defunct since the franchise moved to Kansas City in 1972, but that has not dissuaded Orlando's interest in Gerald Overton, a retired boilermaker who worked in the ticket office for Cincinnati during the 1965-66 season. "Overton has a tremendous amount of life experience, and you cannot put a pricetag on veteran leadership," said Martins. Overton, who is retired and lives in Lexington, KY with his wife Millie, is reported to have responded to the Magic's interest by saying, "the Orlando what? nope. wrong number."
Gerald Overton, who is a candidate for the Magic's front office position.
Not much information is available about the Magic's third rumored candidate, "stonecoldmagicgangsta123456789." He/she is apparently an Orlando Magic fan who mantains a poorly edited blog at seereeusmagicnewz.com. His identity is unknown, although his profile indicates he is a 26-year old student at Central Homossasa Community College - Bithlo Sattelite Campus. Stonecoldmagicgangsta123456789 does have immediate ideas on how to retain franchise center Dwight Howard, some of which he outlined in a recent blogpost: "we juz hav to keep it reel ya know dwight is my boy we shud get sum honeyz to perswade him." Journalist Evan Dunlap, when asked for comment on stonecoldmagicgansta123456789 was reported to have said, "that guy's 26? Wow. We all thought it was a kid. That's sad."
The final candidate for the position, Brian Pohjola of American Fork, Utah, does not appear to have any basketball knowledge whatsoever. The 2nd-generation Finnish immigrant has been the manager of Shakey's Pizza since 2009. The interest in Pohjola appears to be primarily due to what Alex Martins describes as " . . . just a phenomenal moustache. I mean, a serious flavor saver. Be crazy not to interview somebody with a soup strainer like that." Pohjola was surprised by the Magic's interest, but he did have some immediate suggestions on how to improve the Magic: "more ragtime music at games. Ragtime fixes everything."