I confess: I really just wanted to be the first one to write a fanpost in the new format. Which, by the way, reminds me more of a health-care provider site than a sports site. I keep expecting Evan to ask me to log my blood-sugar numbers for the last week. Or to write some sort of helpful article about the need to get a colonoscopy on a regular basis. I mean, I guess the he-who-shall-not-be-named flatulence article could be said to have addressed that. Not that I am saying that we need more articles on bowel-health, although I suspect that some of our regular posters probably have issues with that sort of thing. And really, you can't discount the importance of a good bowel movement. As Charles Bukowski said, "a man can go seventy years with a good piece of behind (edited), but he can die in a week without a bowel movement."
Hmm. I seem to have gotten off-topic.
So, the point of this post is nick-names. I am of the opinion that when a player changes teams, they should be able to consider changing nicknames as well-kind of like the way they sometimes change numbers. There are some established nicknames for some of our players, but it never hurts to have a few in reserve for when ESPN trolls our site to get ideas for their next interview with a soon-to-be former player. (EX: Bayless: "So Dwight, the poster named girlintoharrypotter on Orlando Pinstriped Post has referred to you as the "Peter Pettigrew" of the NBA. How does that make you feel?" Dwight: "I have no regrets." Bayless: "You can't read, can you?" Dwight: "You mean, like, words and stuff?")
Here are some current (somewhat) nick-names that exist for our roster. Please add your own versions, addendum, or corrections to my list in the comments section:
1. Jameer Nelson: crib-midget
2. Arron Afflalo: the rattlesnake, Afflalo Creed,
3. Hedo Turkoglu: Hedo, Turkey-glue, Mr. 4th quarter (retired after 2008-09 season)
4. Armon Johnson:
5. Gustavo Ayon: taco hammer
5. Glen Davis: Big-baby (not what he wants to be called), Uno-uno (what he wants to be called)
6. Christian Eyenga: skyenga
7. Maurice Harkless: the hark-less monster, Moe, Don't-call-me-Moe
8. Justin Harper: True
9. Al Harrington: buckets
10. DeQuan Jones: the chef
11. Josh McRoberts: McBob, McRambis, the white shadow
12. E'Twaun Moore: ET
13. Andrew Nicholson:
14. Kyle O'Quinn: KOQ
15. J.J. Redick: JJ, the poet
16. Quention Richardson: Q-Rich, Q
17. Ishmael Larry Smith: Ish, Dish, Swish, Mish
18. Nikola Vuveciv: Vooch
By the way, I found all of these nicknames on the internet, so they are all true. I look forward to seeing your contributions in the comments section, as well as seeing a few of you try to hijack the thread by opening up a discussion about whose defensive contributions will be more important to the magic outside the arc in the first six games of the season, or something else like that.
This FanPost was made by a member of the Orlando Pinstriped Post community, and is to be treated as the opinions and views of its author, not that of the blogger or blog community as a whole.