I'd like to pour out my heart and mind concerning the current state of the Magic

WARNING - Somewhat wordy and emotional (yet hopefully soundly reasoned).

I have been an Orlando Magic fan almost as long as I have memories. One of my earliest is when my parents bought me a basketball hoop for our driveway the same year that the Magic drafted Shaquille O'neal. At the time I had never heard of either, but like everyone - I knew Michael Jordan.

As a young kid I was enthralled by his otherworldly ability and picked my Dad's brain about him. One day in passing my father suggested that our hometown team the Orlando Magic were also quite good. "We have a team?", I thought. It had never occurred to me before, but I liked the idea and at some point soon after made an unconscious decision to devote the majority of my sports appreciation to them forever.

For a long time growing up, my family didn't own a television. When we finally bought one, we used it exclusively for movies that my parents (rarely) approved and a few select shows through heavy analog static. We were relegated to the Olympics, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and The Evening News With Dan Rather. When my mom was outside doing yard work during the afternoons, my sister and I would tune in for a few minutes of M*A*S*H*. Watching basketball only happened at hotels or if our family got home from church early enough on a Sunday and the Magic happened to be Nationally broadcast on NBC. My family still doesn't subscribe to cable service. Thus, I followed the Magic for about 15 years almost exclusively by listening to nearly all their games on the radio (I used to play outside and with G.I. Joe's a lot). I have been quite obsessed with all their happenings. I used to read the newspaper, and check the magazine section every time our family went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart or Publix for the new Alathon Sports NBA yearly preview. I played basketball alone in my driveway as a short, chubby white kid, using a ball too small and with all the grip worn off. I shot by palming the ball on both sides and heaving it from my chest. I used to narrate situations when I played and at times went through whole 82 game scenarios. Looking back on my memories of that time with rose colored glasses, I remember making a lot of those shots. However, all I'm really trying to convince you of is the weight of my opinion concerning the current state of the team.

I remember how I felt through almost all the memorable moments of the Magic's relatively short history. I remember how I felt when the Magic made it to the finals in '94-'95, and when they were swept. I remember how I felt when Shaq and Penny left, and years of being terrible highlighted by the "Heart & Hustle" team. I remember the spectacular game winners. I remember the terrible picks followed by finally drafting Dwight, then losing to Detroit so many damn times. I remember the roller coaster ride through the playoffs to our most recent Finals appearance, and how close it felt like we actually were to winning it all despite how the rest of the league prefers to remember it. Finally, I remember how I felt upon first hearing inklings of Dwight trades more than a year ago, and how my feelings have evolved from my original tendency to not even acknowledge the possibility to now feeling that losing him is inevitable and unavoidable.

I want Howard to stay, but most of us seem to be coming to terms with the fact that he will not. I believe I understand many of the reason, and don't hold it against him. Consider that you and I and every one's reasons for doing anything are purely selfish. Whether Dwight leaves or stays, it will be for selfish reasons. If he leaves it may be because the Magic have made poor personnel moves lately and assembled a supporting cast that will have difficulty competing with super teams, but that are locked into expensive contracts far into the future (Turkoglu, Davis, Duhon). I can also see him wanting to play in a bigger market and to live in a bigger city (even I find it difficult to find interesting things to do in Orlando at times). If he stays it may be to prove to himself and fans that he can lead any team to a championship single-handedly, and to show that he's a respectable and loyal superstar. Leading the small pond to greatness will elevate his historical status since ultimately it will be much more impressive than repeating greatness in an established 'championship caliber' market. We want him to stay because we selfishly want to live in a city with an interesting sports history that involves winning. We want to witness something that feels momentous and that we should somehow feel proud of, and that gives us something fun to talk about, etc... We associate ourselves with the city we grew up in or grew up liking and tie our feelings to Dwight's decision the way we would a girlfriend's decision about our future together. Nobody likes being broken up with, which is why I think you are seeing so many people turning against Dwight, or suggesting to "just get it over with." We want to feel as though Dwight didn't dump us, we dumped him.

Understanding this has helped me come to peace with whatever happens. Regardless of whether Dwight leaves or stays it will add an interesting element to our history. Rivals, disliked players and upsetting moment are what offer contrast to potentially great moments. It's what make them special and worth desiring. It's the same reason you don't play NBA 2K11 on easy, or any game for that matter. Something achieved without struggle is ultimately unsatisfying and makes for a far less interesting experience. The odds dictate that we will win a championship at some time during most of our lives, and the longer it takes - the harder it is - the sweeter it'll be. I would also liken following a sports team to the old travel cliche (since I'm currently on the road) that "the journey is better than the destination." Sure it's been fun to watch Dwight dominate, but that was all the more special because we invested so much time in watching him evolve from a scrawny kid, and potential star to what he is today. I've been a little jealous the past couple years watching teams with lots of young players whose status and skill are constantly fluctuating. Teams like OKC, LAC, and MIN have a lot of youth that have made them interesting to watch even when they weren't especially good. I would thoroughly enjoy a few years of watching well chosen, high draft picks learning to play together.

If Dwight stays, obviously we'll need a bit of luck to assemble a championship team, but should put everything we have toward achieving the one thing that may keep Dwight here long term.

If he leaves, we ought to trade him, Davis, Duhon and Turk for a bevy of draft picks and some young players with potential.

I don't want to be a middle of the road team. If we are set to lose Dwight, then we should be in full rebuilding and player development mode. I'd prefer Derrick Williams and another prospect to Lopez and Wallace. I know it'd be difficult to make contracts match when dumping bad contracts and Dwight's to a team in exchange for picks and rookies, but with enough teams involved, perhaps it could work. It's upsetting for me to see that while it seems so clear that Dwight will be leaving - Otis just gave Glen Davis a lot of money for 4 years. Signing Clark and Richardson was wise, but in the event that we lose Dwight, I'd prefer to trade all the bad contracts along with Dwight, and then trade Nelson and Richardson for more prospects and/or picks. I want to see the development of Anderson, Orton, and JJ. I believe 2 of those players can become starters, which along with some intelligent management could get us back to relevancy. Wait 3 years before signing anyone expensive unless the value is simply too great to pass up. In the meantime, these actions will make watching the NBA less frustrating and I can enjoy the clashes of super teams without constantly worrying about whether we can beat them, but feeling that in a few years we will.

Go Magic!